Choices

The situation: we’ve been living with my mom for over a year and I’ve been just barely getting by with my amazon sales and babysitting, along with the help of food stamps. I have managed to do most of the required college prerequisites in order to become an IBCLC, I have a motorhome that needs mechanical work, and a small amount of consumer and student debt. I just got a 28 hour a week job and put Wallace in a play based preschool.

The goal: to have enough mobile income we can move into the RV and travel/live. To get enough contact hours working at my current job in order to meet the 1,000 minimum to sit the IBLCE within 4 years. To have another baby.

Choice one: stay living with my mom, pay off at least my consumer debt, stay at my job for the next year, save at least $5,000 and make motorhome repairs, and get on the road before Wallace would need to be in public school.

Choice two: get a cheap one bedroom apartment in this area (there are no places that I know of around here that we could winter in the RV), possibly apply for rent assistance, save less money but more sanity, and somehow manage to get on the road before Wallace would need to be in kindergarten.

No idea where getting to have another baby would fit in my five year plan with either choice for the next year, but having 6 months of living expenses saved up beforehand will be a must. My current work load has not been allowing me to keep up with amazon, my biggest mobile income stream. Other ideas for mobile income include amazon merch, Poofy Organics (see my affiliate tab), some form of birth educator training, CLC training, etsy, and ebay sales.

I am open to ideas, logic, suggestions, and overall kind words. I’m exhausted, I miss my kid, I love helping mothers (my job), I want another baby, I want to be debt free, I want to be mobile, and I crave living in my own space again.

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Posted in background, family, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 5 Comments

MicroBlog Monday: 9 Things

1) Somedays, work is a rollercoaster of emotions. You win some, you lose some. All the adorable babies and the connections made with women.

2) I’ve been transitioning to grain-free vegan. Rule number one is eat a shit ton of vegetables. As long as I get some beans and some safe starches, I feel good.

3) Wallace is on his third week of preschool at a university’s Reggio Amelia based program. I may be That Mom, but I like the teachers and we are both adjusting.

4) Baby fever, like woah.

5) Do not drink 12oz of kombucha in a day. Especially at work where other people can smell your detox body odor. Learn from my mistake.

6) I like chocolate and pretty much still crave it all the time. I packed coconut chips and dark Enjoy Life chips for a snack tomorrow.

7) I have been talking to an old friend who came to mind. Communication always drops off so I’m trying to just appreciate each moment not knowing when I will stop hearing from him.

8) I have a friend who lives on St Thomas. It really freaked me out when the storm was headed that way. I have yet to hear from him.

9) CBD oil is still amazing. I love it and I am a functioning adult again, yipee!

Posted in background, Microblog Monday, Parenting | 5 Comments

Poofy Organics Sale!

Do you need deodorant, makeup, shampoo, bubble bath, sunscreen, kitchen cleaner, hand sanitizer…?

Then check out Poofy Organics and consider buying an organic, hand crafted, USA made product that supports a small business and a single mom (me). Poofy has only three sales like this a year, so this is a great time to make a first purchase or stock up on favorites. I give a 10% rebate on your first order after Poofy’s 15% off (shipping not included).

The sale starts at 12am on September 2nd and goes to 11:59pm September 4th EST. The code must be entered at time of checkout. In order to get the rebate from me, I will need to confirm your total and have an email address/paypal.

There’s also a back to school Survival Kit with a $25 discount.

Make sure to follow my link and create an account to place an order.

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That Mom

Wallace is just three days into preschool and I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m “that mom.” I’m also trying to be really nice to the teachers, not be a puddle of emotions, do my work well at a job I’m still new at, and keep on top of things like food, laundry, and basic hygiene.

Wallace is gluten (I have Celiac), dairy (he gets cradle cap from it), and egg free (he gets diarrhea from it). He eats minimal processed foods and grains at home. I’m really damn picky about what he (we) eat but not nearly as picky as I’d like to be. I was able to get the doctor’s note for the food accommodations but they require he has a milk substitute and he eats grains. He has never regularly had milk, or a substitute, that wasn’t from my breasts or that of another woman. I do not believe the dairy propaganda spewed by the FDA, USDA, and RDA on the dairy industry’s dime. He doesn’t need a dairy substitute and needs to eat more vegetables and drink water, but I’m burrying these things and teaching him to eat what he is served at preschool (as long as it is gluten, dairy, and egg free).

Preschool has nap time and I let them know he doesn’t nap and hasn’t napped regularly for over a year. Monday, he was on a cot with nothing to do for two hours while I watched him roll around bored out of his mind (yay, school cameras!). He doesn’t know how to make sure new people know his needs and his voice is heard. I had been told that he would have half an hour of trying to rest and sleep and then can have quiet toys to do or go in another room, so I was pretty mad. I vented to coworkers and my mom and calmly explained the next morning that he needs to be allowed something quiet to do. He wasn’t where I could see him on Tuesday at nap, but he did have something to play quietly with, and today they had movie and pajama day as it’s the last day of the summer session.

Which brings me to screen time… I’m not a fan, especially at school and this young. He occasionally watches Thomas, Mr Rogers, a kid’s movie, or Cosmic Kids at home, with an adult sitting with him. He gets scared easily and needs help processing what he sees. They were planning to watch Moana, which I have seen and knew would be too scary for him, but changed to Trolls AND two episodes of Magic School bus. That’s more TV than he has ever had at one time! I’m biting my tounge as this was supposed to be a once in a blue moon thing and he was sitting with a teacher the entire time. If movies/tv becomes a regular thing, then I will probably unclench my teeth and speak my mind as nicely as possible.

I learned yesterday that they do teeth brushing with them a couple times a day. This was news to me and I don’t know how many times. We brush twice at home already and I’m wondering if there can be too much brushing? Thankfully, Wallace refused the toothpaste. What a good kid! I told him we can bring in some of our homemade remineralizing tooth powder if they say it’s okay, which they did. I will include ingredients and instructions on a card so that whoever is doing it with them will know what it is and what to do.

Yep, I’m that mom…

Excited for his first day of preschool!

The bit of nap on the first day that he tried dutifully to rest.

Getting a treat and talking after the second day of school.

Posted in Milestone, Parenting, pictures, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | Tagged | 3 Comments

Busy

I need to reclaim this space, so a recap is always good!

Wednesday: preschool visit and paperwork, drop direct deposit at Payroll, find out from HR that I’m supposed to work the next day at 8am, impromptu lunch at a health food store, kid falls asleep in the car, check of 2nd TB test (still asleep), get home and start prepping for work (still asleep), dinner, shower, and a late bedtime since that two hour nap happened.

Thursday: kid was awake when I left, Gramma mostly asleep on the couch, show up at new job saying I’m the new hire, hectic and overly personal introductions, some checklists of things to cover, too many hours staring at white writing on a blue screen for the Civil Rights training, inside all day and stayed longer than supposed to, stop at Dollar Tree and TJMaxx on my way home in search of work clothes since kid is with Gramma and isn’t back yet, get text he wants his Momma and rush home forgetting one of the bags of things, late dinner, walk to connect with kid, bedtime and prepping for the next day.

Friday: kid was asleep when I left ans I only sorta tried to wake him, Gramma never replied to my texts asking how the day was, more working through new hire checklists and getting to know each other, efficient at finding my way to and from bathroom alone, found out I’m not in payroll system and was supposed to have a badge, went for a walk for part of my lunch break because I can’t stand being stuck inside for 8 hours, learned way around the charting program and entered in a stack of pink cards for the last 4 hours of my day, called TJMaxx after work and stopped by to get bag, home to kid and I didn’t have to cook dinner.

*************

I started writing this almost two weeks ago and every day has been non stop. As it stands now, I have had ten days of work and Wallace starts preschool on Monday. I have all the paperwork in for DHS to help with three days this month and four day weeks through September, but no word if it will go through, no word on what the cost will be out of pocket if it doesn’t, and two weeks until my first full paycheck.

I am down to about a migraine a week but am out of the new brand of CBD oil that was helping a ton so I’m in pain and worn out. We have had two birthday parties, some babysitting, and a Day Out With Thomas.

Work needs it’s own post and so does Thomas, preschool, and CBD oil. I just don’t have the time or energy. I need to delete Instagram from my phone again, as I lose myself in it instead of being productive. I haven’t been able to read much lately and am learning to be hyper productive even if I’m hurting. Our road trip needs a post too, well, mostly me over analyzing it…

That’s all I got for now as Wallace has finally fallen asleep after a wild bedtime that included hitting me and then crying when I caught hold of his arm. Time to prep some cucmber salad and clothing labels.

Posted in AIP, background, body talk, Parenting, pictures, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 7 Comments

Day 1

I just started my first ever office job. Today was an unorganized and yet friendly cluster F starting with having found out yesterday at about noon that I was cleared to start working and was expected at 8am. So yeh.

Wallace spent the day with Gramma and did great, but we both missed each other. My coworkers are funny and overall so far nice, though there was talk about my sexuality and my leg hair. I have known a couple of them for four years, though we weren’t friends, so it was fine and just part of getting to know each other. Though I clearly need to up my attire because there was a comment on how I give off gay vibes, in so many words.

I don’t particularly care as long as I am comfortable, I need some clothes for the job anyway, and it’s likely that no matter what I wear I will still look, act, and be really damn gay. Anyway, I stopped for another piece of vegan gf chocolate cake on the way home from work and then went to TJMaxx to try to find some shirts to add to my nearly nonexistent business (very) casual wardrobe. I would have rushed immediately home to hug my baby and eat dinner but they weren’t back from their adventures yet.

I am hoping I can adjust to office life smoothly. I have never had a desk, computer, or phone before. I need advice, please! I am putting together a small bag to keep in a drawer with chapstick, medicine, toothbrush, nail file, emergency snack, and anything else I can come up with. I bought a picture frame and put one of wallace in it, and sticky notes and pens. What else is essential for a work desk? How do I make my gay business casual wardrobe work? How do I make my desk/chair comfortable when I can’t reach the floor and the keyboard at the same time?

Posted in background, LGBTQ, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 12 Comments

Outdoor Challenge: July 15-21

Saturday, July 15

Wallace wanted to go swimming and forecast was promising. We headed out to the pool after lunch and after I did some Amazon work. Two of our neighbors were heading over too, so Wallace was very excited. Otherwise, the pool was empty for half the time we were there. It was weird for a Saturday afternoon. Rob worked with Wallace on getting his face in the water, which Wallace calls diving. I swam a little and got in the water with Wallace too. He’s pretty independent in the pool with his puddle jumper thing on. After her sunbathed and warmed up, we did some floaty free pool time on the steps with me hovering nearby. I would like him to be conscious of the difference in what he needs to do with and without the puddle jumper on. I’d like to work with him on learning to float on his back and hanging on to the side while kicking his feet. He also had some time playing in the sandbox on the balcony and we sat together out there to eat a bowl of fresh local strawberries.

Sunday, July 16

It was overcast and breezy so we didn’t make plans to get outside this morning. Wallace played a bit in the backyard where I babysat, but nothing big. We really need to get out for bike rides and roller skate practice.

I got side tracked by our trip and stopped keeping track of this. Oops!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments