I’ve been here over four months now. I’ve been at this job with this family the whole time. It was a challlenge in the beginning. The kids weren’t in school and there was no structure to our days. I wasn’t given any run down of what to expect, family rules etc, and I did ask for them. It hasn’t gotten any easier. I pretty much dread it every week. I am exhausted from it and feel like I’m not enough. I have been a nanny for a long time and I have never felt this innefective. Everything is a fight and I am constantly just trying to keep them this side of chaos. I have to protect Wallace constantly, and I am that mom that will let him fall at the park so he figures out his own abilities.

But because I am working for my friend, I feel trapped. I don’t want to abandon her. I can’t just find another job and give her a month’s notice. She seems completely oblivious to how her kids behave because she uses bribes and negotiating and lets them get away with things much below their ages. I’ve attempted to talk to her, via email, about her youngest and ask her input on how to work with her. Instead of even looking at what I sent her, she told me I need to make sure to feed her more. Um, that’s not the problem! I make sure to get food in them evert 2-3 hours max.

I don’t know what to do about all of this. I have to have a job, but I am barely scraping by with this as we are. I’m hoping the perfect job will just pop up in front of me. I am even interested in putting Wallace in childcare of some kind if it means not hating my job while making enough money to support us.

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in Chicago, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Trapped

  1. Lindsay says:

    Jenn – I think you need to talk with your friend about your situation and say you need to find another job. Don’t even say anything about her home life and her unruly kids. Tell her you’re barely making it financially, and you won’t make it in the city if you don’t find another job. She will have no choice BUT to understand. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness to keep someone else’s life easier.

  2. If I tell her before I have a job lined up then she could try to convince me to stay. Change definitely needs to happen but the idea of leaving her in the lurch to find a new nanny is not sitting well with me.

  3. I can’t imagine how hard the situation your in must be for you but I think at the end of the day you need to do what’s best for you. If that means finding a new job then so be it. Life to short to be unhappy . We all deserve to have a job that we love and you current job isn’t that as far as I can see. All the best xx

  4. I was in a position like this in college. It is hard to establish routines with no input from parents. Some jobs are just not the right fit and your unhappiness is going to translate into your work. Its hard to leave those we consider friends, but we have to care for ourselves first. Especially when we are in charge of little ones, they can pick up our uneasiness and it can turn into a vicious cycle. Good Luck and Take Care!

  5. It is definitely to the point it is effecting my work and my job as a mom. I do not like the nanny I am with these girls. Because I am here 2 days a week, it means I don’t really have any long term impact on their behavior with it being constantly counteted by mom.

  6. Thank you. I agree, it is just hard to let a friend down.

  7. That’s a tough spot. I’d definitely be looking for another opportunity. I think having something lined up before having a major conversation with her might be good. I’d hate for her to let you go if she got upset!! I’m sorry she’s not taking your email to heart and trying to help you be more effective. In the end do what’s best for you and Wallace. Hugs my friend.

  8. Seeing as I’ve had to tell her to fire people before, I’m not worried about her letting me go. She is unaware that I am hating this.

  9. That’s good at least!

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