According to one of the many definitions on Urban Dictionary, a deal breaker is “‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.”
With all the relationships I have been in and out over 14 years and the self work I have done, I feel like I have my relationship deal breakers figured out. The easy ones are the ones I know ahead of time. It is harder when I am already enmeshed in a relationahip and a deal breaker comes up. I have a habit of not following my self preservation gut in those instances. Some have come up from past experiences and mistakes but others haven’t had to be acted on yet.
Clearly this is all on my mind for a reason. L and I discussed our deal breakers already. I think it makes sense to be up front about these things as well as life goals and plans. Talking about this prevents a false start relationship and unnecessary hurt.
Here are my deal breakers. I know there are good people who might have some of these labels but they aren’t compatible with me and my life.
* Drug use
* Untreated alcoholism or excessive drinking
* No desire to be a parent
* No self improvement or personal growth
* Non monogamous
* Poor communication skills
* A pattern of lying
* Physical or emotional abuse
Also, here’s a neat article on red flags that I found interesting that I can’t remember if I shared before. What are your deal breakers?