I’m taking two online classes through the community college that I need in order to become an IBCLC. The school I wanted to go to for it lost their federal accreditation, so financial aid or federal student loans are no longer options. I could go if I took out a private student loan for the cost of school plus living expenses. That doesn’t seem like a smart idea financially and especially with not knowing anyone and it being a big move. I can take distance courses through another program for 1/20th of that but still would need the science classes and the exerience hours.

I work a few afternoons a week babysitting for a friend because getting a 30 hour a week retail job is not compatible with paying for or scheduling childcare. A full time job (I know of one option I could apply for) could mean regular hours but still paying a ton for childcare and being away from each other a lot. I need income but don’t know how to go about juggling it all and not having someone else raise my child for me. If I had a full time job, I would not have the time to put into school and my goal of becoming an IBCLC.

I live with my dad who doesn’t talk to me, isn’t around, and just offered to pay for me to live elsewhere (if I had steady income) so his girlfriend and her kids could move in. He would then talk to me less, see Wallace less, and I would feel like I was paid to not bother him. It would be a glaringly obvious repetition of his past habit of ignoring family for a relationship.

I would love to not live here but need income. I would love to live far away from my family. I would love to be self sufficient and not need food assistance. I would love to be an IBCLC but the path I had decided on is no longer an option. There has to be a solution that I am not seeing. There has to be a way for me to make this all work but right now I am stuck.

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in background, family, Single Mother by Choice - SMC. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stuck

  1. Lindsay says:

    Your dad offered to pay you to live elsewhere?! Oh, geez. Would he give you enough money to pay your full rent? If so, could you move to another town with more opportunity for employment/nanny gigs?

    I think it sounds like where you are right now isn’t good for your mental health – being in your dad’s home and he doesn’t even speak to you and doesn’t want you there. Is there something you do/can make that you could sell for some income? i know that kind of thing isn’t steady, but it’s a good supplement or a way to save while you’re trying to get back on your feet.

    When I was a student, I used to go to thrift stores and buy name brand things and then sell them in a lot on eBay and Craigslist to make a profit.

    Surrogacy and egg donation is a good way to make some cash, but of course those are both incredibly taxing – both physically and emotionally.

    Can you tutor? What about offering your writing services to small, local businesses? I used to do that when I was in university. I would just email small businesses who had shitty websites and offer my writing services. I got a lot of clients that way!

    Oh – and I dunno – Evelyn’s in full time care and I don’t consider that someone else raising my child for me. It’s a huge chunk of the week, to be sure, and they are absolutely helping raise her 40 hours/week. But I still do most of it. I guess it’s all relative.

  2. My dad is delusional. You should have been a fly on the wall for that whole ridiculous conversation. He thinks that if I live elsewhere, very close, he will somehow make time for his family when he hasn’t the whole time we have been back living in the same house! I want to live anywhere but here, close to my parents, being treated like I’m nonexistent. When I was 16, they put my in a teen homeless shelter and he suggested putting me in foster care! When I was 17, my parents paid someone else to take care of me and when that fell through, they paid for me to live alone. I’m not a horrible person or bad to live with. I’m just gay and not their priority. My life is a million times better when I live in a different state.

    I am prepping for a craft sale in November. If I try to craft and sell regularly, I would have to conform to compliancy laws. I doubt I could be an egg donor since I am now 30 and also have celiac disease. Your website writing idea is ingenious. Everyone just has facebook pages now.

    I feel like you have found some great childcare facilities. I can’t afford anything of quality and I am scared of how he would do in a full time care/school setting. I looked into head start here but he isn’t old enough unless I have a full time job, and then there are only 8 spots in that classroom for our district. I don’t know how I could handle full time work, taking classes, and parenting on my own.

  3. I have decided to apply for the full time job at the end of my semester in December. Unless I find something else of course. Wallace still won’t be 3 so I don’t know what I will do for childcare. Will have to figure that out when I cross that bridge.

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