Thanks, Universe

I just read this from a post I wrote 3 years ago:

What I really want, what I think would be amazing, is a job that would allow me to bring him with me while having a positive impact on the community.  Something that would serve a greater purpose in my life and the lives of those around me.  Trouble is, I don’t know what that is and I only have a vague sense of the shapes it could take.  Even if I knew what it was, I am not sure how I would manifest it, whether it was working for someone else or starting something of my own.

So I am putting this out there, just like I did when I knew I wanted to start a family.  I want, I need, to make this happen.  I need my life to be filled with purpose, and not just that of being a parent.  I am in a community that needs it and is filled with burgeoning opportunities for helping each other and itself grow.  So, universe, fit me into this puzzle.  Show me what I need to be doing now and after my baby is born.  Point me in that direction and show me the impact I can make.  I am willing to put in all the work that is needed as long as I know that I am working with a purpose.

Being an IBCLC would definitely let me be a part of a community, helping people, and possibly allow me to bring my child/ren with me. I guess the universe showed me the need for knowledgeable breastfeeding support by putting me through the gauntlet! Though I still wish I could go to Portland, I am trying to figure out how to make this work without it. The piece of the puzzle that isn’t lining up is the supervised clinical experience. I can get all the science and health classes here, I can get the lactation education hours online, but I cannot figure out how to make it work for me to get the experience needed to take the exam and be a great IBCLC.

The reason I was digging around in my blog from three years ago, was that I have been doing some reflection. I have noticed my patterns and habits of behavior particularly in regards to relationships. Ending my relationship with L has somehow allowed me to process and reflect on the relationship before that with A. I really haven’t dealt with it because I was pregnant, then overwhelmed with a newborn and breastfeeding and doctors… I opened up communication with her today, mostly to apologize but maybe we can both have more clarity and understanding on what happened and why.

Gotta wrap this up because I have a wiggly toddler on my lap, a full bladder, and request to sing “stunkarink,” aka skinnamarink.

Advertisements

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in background, breastfeeding, LGBTQ, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s