I need to take back my life and become more present again. My obsessive use of technology, though not an oddity, is having huge negative effects on my life and character. When I got my first smart phone, I began to disengage and be distracted from the world and the people around me. I have done everything I can to limit these effects and my addiction to being distracted but it hasn’t worked. I’ve made excuses on how it is normal and expected now. I’m not okay with that and need to take back my attention.
While reading “True Love,” by Thich Nhat Hanh just now, I came across this passage:
The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. What must we do to really be there?
Bam. Way to shatter my Momma heart. I so love Wallace and he suffers from my lack of presence and attention. If I am constantly checking my phone, or texting while I eat, or taking pictures just to post them, then I am not truly present. I must make drastic changes in order to really be there for him. My life and well-being also suffer from not being present in the moment.
The biggest distraction is my phone, so I will start there. I was looking around to see if I could get a phone that only could text and call. The one I saw for my carrier is the T9 style and I do need to be able to text somewhat. Instead, I will dumb down my smart phone. I can delete the few apps I have, disable the ones I can’t delete like the web browser, log my emails out, and keep it in one spot in the house or in my bag. (Didn’t there used to be phones that were connected to the wall?)
I can check emails, blog, and check facebook on the desktop computer. I can listen to podcasts and look up recipes on my kindle. My phone will be only for texts, calls, and taking pictures. It is time to say goodbye to instagram, to web browser, and to blogging and multitasking. My phone is low quality so it can’t handle a lot of apps and things anyway. That has cut back on the random playing of games that I used to do.
It’s time to let go and to be more present. Maybe I won’t post, read, and comment as much but I will look my child in the face when he talks to me. I will put down my phone and be here for him now.