Overwhelmed

Three classes is more than I can do. I am only a week in and I am not keeping up. I haven’t even started looking at my statistics work beyond the Syllabus and stuff. I think I need to put on the breaks and reassess.

I don’t want to slow it down. I don’t want to have to put off starting at PSU this fall, but I think I have to. It won’t work if I keep the class load but not make transferable grades. It would defeat the purpose and I will probably be a crappy parent in the meantime. I have to have all the health science courses done before starting the lactation ones, and they will start a new cohort each fall. That means, if I don’t get it all done before fall, then I have to wait a whole year.

The good part of postponing a year, besides not being constantly swamped, is that I could continue to take a couple classes at a time and work toward a Bachelor’s of Health Science. I don’t have any degrees so that would be a great thing to do.

I am also having my financial aspect fall apart on me. Neither of my parents will cosign on a private student loan for me. It is really frustrating that they don’t believe in me at all. You know, to the point I was sobbing in the car on the way home last night wondering why after 15 years of them continually bailing on me that I can’t get over it. (You might think I’m exaggerating -teenage drama- but they put me in a teen homeless shelter and my dad suggested I go in foster care all because I’m gay and neither one of them wanted to buck up and be parents.) I really need to figure out how to move past this trauma because it is effecting me in other areas.

That said, I will only have minimal federal student loans. I will have to get The Preposterous Pup up and running in order to be bringing in income. It looks like I can accept the fall federal loans if I go in and talk to the financial aid folks. If that works, then I can actually work toward buying a motorhome and getting us ready to go.

As of today, the plan looks like this:

Winter- Child Psych, Nutrition, babysitting, sewing, motorhome shopping.
Spring- see if any online classes will fit my needs, babysitting, sewing, prepare motorhome, get rid of stuff.
Summer- no classes, babysitting ends at the end of local school year, sewing, move to Portland.
Fall-Summer- Anatomy & Physiology, Biology, Statistics, and any other classes that fit and work me towards BHS, Wallace in preschool or daycare, sewing, living in Portland in RV.
Fall-Summer- Lactation Education classes.
Fall-Summer- Clinicals.

Any thoughts from my wonderfully supportive blog readers? Do the pros of pushing it back a year outweigh the cons?

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Here's an adorable selfie to brighten this post.

*EDIT*
I dropped Statistics because today was the last day to do it. Then I realized I was under the 6 credit minimum for federal loans. I managed to add Medical Terminology, which is 1 credit and had been my original plan for this semester. The server stopped responding after I tried to submit it, prompting a frantic attempt to make y all work. I managed to find the old version of Web Advisor and confirm I am now registered. It will take a little catching up having missed a week, but it feels like the right decision and much weight off my shoulders. Soooo, here we go!

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About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in background, family, Late Night Post, Parenting, pictures, Single Mother by Choice - SMC and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Overwhelmed

  1. kayrosey says:

    I’ve taken all of the classes you are looking at, and my only advice is to take anatomy and physiology by itself if at all possible. It’s a really hard class, the info is dense and fast paced and incorporates a lot of things like cellular stuff and chemistry. You will be awesome though! Most of the battle is just buckling down and telling yourself you can do anything for 16 weeks 🙂

  2. There are two a&p recquired for the BHS but only the first one to register for the lactation courses. The intensity of those classes is another reason to not take them over spring and summer.

  3. I’m all for taking things at a comfortable pace, so I can keep the stress manageable and give energy where it’s also needed. This way, I find it’s easier to keep the grades up while having time to actually learn my material, rather than always cramming for exams and being up until all hours trying to get papers & projects done. I can’t imagine what it must be like with a child (though I do know what it was like living with an ultra needy & guilt-tripy ex girlfriend during university!). Go with your gut. Sorry about the ‘rents. I too went the federal loan route for school. Good luck! Xx

  4. kayrosey says:

    Yeah, I took both of the a&p classes by themselves before starting the nursing program, I pretty much had to get an a in both to be eligible so I didn’t want to take any chances. I loved the classes though, I learned SO many interesting things.

  5. I’m hoping that enough will be familiar that I can focus energy on the things I don’t know. I will have to take something with it in order to make the 6 credit minimum.

  6. That’s probably close to what parenting my toddler is like, hahaha! I felt overbooked last semester as it was. The point is to be a great IBCLC and mom, not just passing.

  7. Yeah, it is! It sounds like you know what you need to do then.

  8. Did you see the edit? It was before your comment but maybe it didnt load.

  9. Oh good, yeah just saw it now. 🙂

  10. I will have to go on Tuesday to return/buy books and then talk to financial aid about last semesters federal loans. Without that, I don’t know how we will get to Portland unless I can sew and sell a ton of clothes.

  11. One step at a time!

  12. Lindsay says:

    I think there’s value in taking it slowly rather than rushing. If you give yourself an extra year, you won’t feel like you’re in panic mode to get everything done and you can be the mom you want to be, too, since you won’t feel as stretched.

    It sucks your parents won’t co-sign a loan for you. I got federal loans for my university years that didn’t require a co-signer but that was up here in Canada so I’m guessing things work differently down there.

  13. I don’t need a cosigner for the federal loans but I get about $3,000 a semester for part time. If I were to do the spring and summer classes, I would still have to take at least 6 credits if I wanted to be able to get the federal loans. Biology and A&P are 4 credits each I think. During summer, they meet two days a week, from about 9 to 3:30 because of class and lab. It would be almost impossible to take another class and stay on top of it. If I can get my fall loans, then I can get an RV and get out of her by mid June. If I can’t get them, then I’m not sure what I will be doing to get us moved.

  14. Sarah says:

    I’m sorry your parents *still* aren’t there for you, and are blind (or indifferent) to how much damage their failures have caused. I’ve tried so many times to build bridges with my parents, but they’re not willing to change or grow or accept choices I’ve made for myself and my family, and moving well away from them has brought me a lot of peace. I hope Portland does that for you, too.

    And I’m sorry that’s taking longer than you hoped, but I was going to support the idea of dropping statistics, so I’m glad you did, for your sake! It’s hard to slow down when you know what you want, but maybe the extra time will get your legal stuff sorted, and it’s healthy to recognize your current limitations, rather than go through all the aggravation and then maybe not get the grades you need, as you said. And maybe the medical terminology now will give you a little head start in the a&p classes? Either way, most of my friends who took both really enjoyed med term, vs statistics!

  15. Thank you for your words! Besides moving, has anything else helped you to move on from the hurt? I have lived out of state long enough to know that’s how I like it best. I have some big regrets on having left Denver at all. I hate relying on them and want to be gone asap. I can hold out for June though.

    Medical Terminology is a requirement for the IBCLC so it isn’t just filler credit. Bonus that both Portland schools don’t seem to offer it and taking it now means I can get financial aid to cover it. I will still have to face statistics…

  16. I think taking the extra time will pay off in the end with a calmer you as a parent and student….I so admire you doing this all alone and I am so sorry that your parents have not been there for you…that just goes blows my mind! My kids are everything to me(30yrs & 27yrs old) …Anyhow,hugs from NC from another Mama..

  17. Sarah says:

    That’s a major bonus, getting the medical terminology covered!

    I actually sent you an email, lol, vs going off here about parents. But I think writing them letters, whether you send them or not, putting down boundaries, and sticking with them, and possibly the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward and Craig Buck. I say possibly because my sister read it and found it helpful, but I haven’t yet read it. (It sounds promising tho.)

  18. I will check it when I get on the computer, thank you!

  19. Hey it’s nice to see you’re interested in lactation education.
    I just got my IBCLC last summer. Let me know if you have any questions!

  20. Thanks! Sandee said you had.

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