I totally get it that it is the cultural norm for boys to have short hair and girls to have long, but isn’t a set rule. There are so many boys with long hair and girls with short. The assumption that my long-haired boy is a girl is a tad annoying. It would be so nice if the English language had a gender neutral pronoun for when you don’t know someone.

My tactic for handling short interactions with strangers is to just use he in my responses. For longer term things, I make sure they know. For example, here’s what happened when we went to the police station to pay my parking ticket (I parked on the street overnight because I was too sick to shovel the driveway and couldn’t get up it with the 6in of snow we had gotten, there are no signs on the street).

Officer: would she like a sucker?
Me: thank you, but he doesn’t know how to eat them.
Officer: oh, well that’s probably best that she can’t. (insert chuckle)
Me: yeh, he just gets mad that he he can’t chew them.


Boys can have pretty hair, too!

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
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11 Responses to Hair

  1. Love his hair!
    I take the same tactic. When people then apologize and/or make up a reason of why they “mis-gendered” (maybe they haven’t? i don’t know yet) then I say something along the lines of “It’s okay, they don’t seem to care.”
    That works for now but one of them might start caring at some point.

  2. Wallace doesn’t seem to care yet either. I want to model how to inform without being rude, ya know? I don’t want to add to stereotypes when I correct people either. This person didn’t even notice that I said he so many times.

  3. It happened ALL the time when we moved to chicago up until I had to cut his hair in December.

  4. Yeah. I go back and forth between being annoyed with others and being annoyed with myself that I feel like it even matters when really it doesn’t indicate anything about my child. I wish there was only one pronoun.

  5. Man he has some great hair? Does he like it? My daughter had such great hair too… but she just didn’t want it, didn’t want it brushed or anything done with it… she gets called a “he” all the time (when she’s wearing gender neutral clothing, or “boy” clothing).

  6. He lets me brush his hair usually. And if he doesn’t, I send him to grandpa with a brush! He says he likes it wild and all over. I’m trying to get him to let me put it back with a barret or the half ponytail. I love M’s hair short!

  7. People misgender Junie allll the time. It doesn’t bother me much (and she obviously doesn’t care), so I just do what you do and call her ‘she’ in my responses. Sometimes people get really flustered and apologetic, as though we’ve done something weird or deceptive by not putting giant bows on our daughter.
    Wallace’s hair is beautiful!

  8. Exactly! Like we should give better gender cues for them so it doesn’t happen again!

  9. Sarah says:

    He has gorgeous hair!

  10. I love his haor, and boys with long hair in general. Why cut it when it’s so gorgeous, especially if he hasn’t asked for it to get cut?

  11. Yeh I ask him if he wants it cut and he says no. I love it long and my parents don’t so that’s a no brainer 😉

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