I’m sure it’s a mix of things, but my emotions are on overdrive right now. I have been counting down to being able to leave and now that it’s here I’m freaking out.
Yesterday was my last day of work, though I had thought there was one more. We did the usual where the kids played nearly perfectly together inside, they ate pb&j, and we went for a walk. We found the perfect climbing tree and they both managed it with pride.
Then, we headed back inside and they proceeded to jump off the giant coffee table. No big deal, they do this all the time. Well, Wallace was impatient and jumped in toward Ava on the floor. The clunked heads hard and he ended up going to the ER for a mild concussion.
He fell asleep on the way home, slept too long, and then was an overtired beast to get to bed for the night. He would have fallen asleep in the car without the head injury so I was only minorly worried. He seems to be doing much better today and the swelling is down.
I am feeling bittersweet about moving. I’m excited to be heading to this school and city and so ready to be the F out of my dad’s house. I’m sad for my mom and maybe will miss her a little (since she’s been so nice to me lately). I’m sad for Wallace to miss his gramma and grandpa, Ava, Ellie, and the people we have become friends with here. I’m glad to be getting rid of so much stuff but scared of depriving my child of some of his things. I am working hard to get everything ready to go and stressing it won’t be or something else won’t go according to plan.
I’m a whirlwind of these thoughts and feelings all wrapped around my chronic pain and fatigue and day to day life. Hopefully once we get on the road, the emotions will even out and I will have figured out how to use the whole lane to drive.