I was at a Goodwill today scanning books, without Wallace in tow, and two women started talking behind me. They were discussing house plants and succulents and the older woman mentioned having grown turmeric. I jumped right in, as I tend to do, and the two of us ended up chatting for probably half an hour. We talked about health, food, selling books, doctors, family, and politics. I felt a kinship with this woman immediately and, even if part of my gets defensive when it’s said, I think her and our conversation will serve a bigger purpose in my life. More than just knowing you can grow turmeric in a pot without trying.
Meanwhile, I found a book with daily readings, The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. I think it will help me connect more to the spiritual part of myself and the world that I have detached from. I didn’t even realize until I got home that it is a daily meditation. Fitting since it starts with today.
She starts by urging me to make goals for the year, setting intentions, and finding direction. My goal is to get us into our motorhome and financially stable. I am really feeling drawn to camp hosting so that is my goal for the spring/summer. I want us to be outside all the time, exploring and being relaxed together. She asks “what good would you like to attract into your life?” I want calm and accepting people in our life. I want learning and growth and creativity. “What would you like to have happen in friendship and love?” I would like to have more interactions like the one today, where things stop being busy and just feel connected and real. I would like more laughter and stories. I would like to feel connected to and understood by someone deeply and I want to give that in return. I would also like to find what direction I want for my education and career goals and I would like to be working towards having another baby. Physically, I want to feel healthy and at home in body.
I don’t want to get as specific as she is asking but it feels good to put things into words and focus on what I want in my life. She ends by saying that unexpected things will happen, some challenging and some fortuitous, but that they will all “lead us forward in the story.”