Choices

The situation: we’ve been living with my mom for over a year and I’ve been just barely getting by with my amazon sales and babysitting, along with the help of food stamps. I have managed to do most of the required college prerequisites in order to become an IBCLC, I have a motorhome that needs mechanical work, and a small amount of consumer and student debt. I just got a 28 hour a week job and put Wallace in a play based preschool.

The goal: to have enough mobile income we can move into the RV and travel/live. To get enough contact hours working at my current job in order to meet the 1,000 minimum to sit the IBLCE within 4 years. To have another baby.

Choice one: stay living with my mom, pay off at least my consumer debt, stay at my job for the next year, save at least $5,000 and make motorhome repairs, and get on the road before Wallace would need to be in public school.

Choice two: get a cheap one bedroom apartment in this area (there are no places that I know of around here that we could winter in the RV), possibly apply for rent assistance, save less money but more sanity, and somehow manage to get on the road before Wallace would need to be in kindergarten.

No idea where getting to have another baby would fit in my five year plan with either choice for the next year, but having 6 months of living expenses saved up beforehand will be a must. My current work load has not been allowing me to keep up with amazon, my biggest mobile income stream. Other ideas for mobile income include amazon merch, Poofy Organics (see my affiliate tab), some form of birth educator training, CLC training, etsy, and ebay sales.

I am open to ideas, logic, suggestions, and overall kind words. I’m exhausted, I miss my kid, I love helping mothers (my job), I want another baby, I want to be debt free, I want to be mobile, and I crave living in my own space again.

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About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in background, family, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Choices

  1. Gille says:

    I think I can relate to a bit of this. My son and I have a van to travel in rather than RV (with savings towards an old class A) and we’re with family for the sake of saving. Sanity is a big one but expenses are cheaper so we stay while I throw whatever possible towards leaving. If that’s the case with your plan A, I’d stay with it. Throw as much towards leaving as possible, put in as much self care as needed and power through. Whatever you choose though, you still end up leaving so you won’t go wrong. I’d just go with whichever makes it happen faster and saving more where you are seems to be the one.

  2. JennP says:

    I really appreciate your comment and perspective! Money wise, staying put makes the most sense. I’m just not sure I can emotionally handle it. My mom is very apathetic unless it is in regards to chocolate, money (her only motivation to work), or her own knitting. She really doesn’t like me, and though it’s not as bad as the year I lived back with my dad, it is by no means good for my emotional health or my relationship with my child. I think I expend a lot of my patience and energy on dealing with her that it does deplete what I have for parenting. For example, I asked her for input on a birthday present I was about to sew, and she flat out told me she didn’t care, aka she was too busy playing a game on her ipad and too self absorbed to give me 10 seconds of her brain power. I was actually working on a big post about all my family history but got burnt out that night and haven’t finished it. I was thinking of the self care aspect recently, but that would require getting her to watch my son for an hour and do bedtime so I could do yoga. I’m afraid if I stay, I’ll go crazy, and if I get us our own place, I will not be able to save the money to get us into the rv by next fall.

  3. Lindsay says:

    My initial thought was that you should stay where you are and save money. But then I read your comment above, and I think in this case your mental health is most important. And if you’re in a negative living situation and it’s affecting your relationship with Wallace, you should get out and live somewhere where you don’t have to expend that kind of mental and emotional energy on maintaining a relationship with your mom that isn’t good for you.

  4. JennP says:

    I found an apartment to go look at, did a drive by to check it out, but it’s 50ft from the train tracks! I just can’t do that. The train is too close where we are now. I think it comes down to having a hard time justifying spending money on something for my self, my mental health, but you are right that I might need to. I don’t want to keep delaying my plans but I also can’t keep living here for another year.

  5. Gille says:

    Oh man. That’s way more to handle than I imagined. I’m sorry that’s what you’re living with. That’s so sucky. But your mental health outweighs the benefits of staying so I’m all for you taking care of you so you can take care of your son and that looks like leaving is the solution. It may take longer but it sounds so much better than being around someone who is not doing the best by you and your son.

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