Sometimes I am drawn to this space, especially when scaling back on my social media usage. While other times I am overwhelmed by the possibility of filling this vast white box. I crave the therapeutic effects of writing/blogging and remind myself exactly why I started it in the first place, nearly eight years ago. It’s my safe space to vent, reflect, plot, and connect. I have no pretenses or agenda other than to record my thoughts and experiences and ruminate on things that affect me.
I have been dealing with a lot of health issues this last year and it can be daunting enough to just meet the requirements of daily life, let alone having fun and planning for bigger things. I miss having the energy and zest for life that I once had. That’s not to say I am depressed or suicidal, I just struggle with meeting my high expectations.
At this point, I have admitted that I need to see a doctor and get some tests and referrals. Until I have solid evidence and a plan, I feel like talking too much about it is tantamount to saying He Who Must Not Be Named’s name. It’s on my list of things to do today, making that first doctor’s appointment, but so is making 8 Viking hats and getting my child to eat two vegetables a day and do a reading lesson.
Meanwhile, I still have my hands in so many projects and activities. I am into my 4th year of selling books on Amazon, I home school an almost six year old, I teach yoga once a week, I’ve attended two births as a doula, I have tons of requirements to finish up for my doula certification, I am taking Financial Peace University and trying to get finances in better shape, I work at a church nursery every Sunday, and I somehow would like to keep a social life and meeting new people.
We just got home from a play, a puppet musical about trilobites. Yes, I guess that’s a thing and it was well done albeit hard for little kids to follow. Wallace wouldn’t take a picture with the group before or with me, but I snuck one anyway. Tomorrow, he will try the next age group up of classes at the nature preserve. Thursday, begins his second six week session of swim lessons (he’s foregoing gym this round). And, Sunday is his birthday party. It’s a big week!