Supposed Tos

I was supposed to have a 2 hour MRI today, but insurance hasn’t authorized it yet. I got the call yesterday that it was postponed another week.

I was supposed to pick up some things from the library, but it was a snow day and they were closed.

I was supposed to make some phone calls to work on my to-do list, but I had a migraine and then was exhausted.

I used to beat myself up on these kinds of things, but that’s counter productive. So I did my best and got through the day. I may not have brushed my teeth this morning and only half got dressed, but I got Wallace through some school work and we had an alright day. We ate okay food and probably enough of it. I read a little in a book I’m working on, which I rarely do when Wallace is awake. I messaged with some friends and didn’t feel completely alone and isolated like I do some days. I even managed to get some chores done after the migraine medication worked.

I try not to get myself caught up on counting all the ways I was productive in a day, but it helps me to remember that even though I can’t do all the things I used to be able to, at least I can manage some things. When each day blurs into the next and I feel like I’m floundering it anchors me a little bit. I have no big goals to work towards, life is on pause because of my health and the pandemic, and so I focus on the little things.

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to call the library and ask them to hold the items until we can make it in. Hopefully my garage door will open. Hopefully the plow truck won’t wake me at 5am again. And maybe I will finally finish the monster knee patch I have been working on for weeks for Wallace.

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC. Bookmark the permalink.

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