Alone Time

After a year and a half in pandemic mode and a year since my brain surgery, I’ve been having some very rare time to myself. Hospital stays and doctor appointments don’t count as alone time so this is really my first chance to just be my myself since March 2020. And it’s been multiple days in a row!

At the end of June my mom wanted to have Wallace for a sleep over and I figured she would last 3-4 days at most. The plan was for them to watch fire works, as she lives right by the lake where the town holds the annual display. It was rained out but they were able to do it the next night. She ended up keeping Wallace for a week!

Wallace playing at the beach down the street from my mom’s house.

I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself most days so I took the opportunity to rest, watch some TV, and eat food. I planned to read and crochet but didn’t do much of it. I did have a few appointments and finally got my orthotic so that was awesome!

Just Alice and me hanging out!

A couple weeks ago she asked to take Wallace again, which of course they were super excited about. It took a bit to arrange the timing because Wallace was signed up for an online coding class and I didn’t think my mom could handle that. So after she came over Sunday and we all put together my birthday present and played a game, she took Wallace to her house for four days.

My birthday present! A new table and chairs, with cushions, from Ikea to replace the 1980s second-hand table that had a leaded laminate top.

I’m currently on my 2nd full day of quiet and calm and not doing much. I woke up Monday and was confused as to how to turn off the fan in the bedroom as that is usually Wallace’s job when they get me up. After dealing with landlord drama via a legal aid phone line, I grabbed some snacks and met a friend for a hike at a nature park I hadn’t been to yet. I tackled some steep gravel hills that probably should have had steps made into them! We saw some wildlife and many little fairy houses, then sat and chatted until the mosquitoes started attacking. Without child interruption. So weird.

The only picture from our hike was on my drive in seeing this doe and two fawns hanging out in a field. There was also a groundhog that scurried away.

I stopped at the library on my way home and picked up a Cary Grant movie I thought I hadn’t seen before, The Philadelphia Story. Turns out I had but it was lovely and I only remembered bits of it. The witty banter and perfect delivery were a great addition to my smashed potatoes and sauted vegetables.

Alice trying to eat my dinner.

Unfortunately, after three days headache free, I woke up in the middle of the night with a massive migraine. The first medicine didn’t work, but the ice packs allowed me to get a little more sleep and then tried the second medicine. It’s officially the afternoon and I’m still in pajamas in the relative quiet after listening to an episode of History is Gay, which was appropriately about the hidden gay lives of actors of the early and mid 1900s.

On Saturday I decided that my pain level is just out of control. My sleep is terrible despite my best efforts to improve it, so the pain cycle just keeps growing, the brain fog keeps increasing, and my quality of life is going down. I am making more simple mistakes that could turn dangerous, like turning on the wrong burner and causing small injuries to myself.

So I decided to give the Cymbalta a second try while Wallace is with my mom. I was prescribed it a few months ago when a doctor diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. I was hesitant at first and asked if it would cause me nausea or lack of appetite, which she said no. I went home and did more research, from medical websites to first hand experiences, and was even more hesitant. I decided to try it and took one dose before bed one evening, hoping to not be hit hard with nausea and sleep through any side effects. The next day I could barely eat or drink and had severe GI distress, which caused dehydration and a headache. So I was done and and let the doctor’s office know I wasn’t going to keep going.

I am currently on day 4 of my second attempt and it’s going better than before. I have had some dizziness and wooziness, but not nearly like that first go. I have been able to eat and drink mostly as normal and haven’t had to take Zofean, though I nearly did one night.

I’ve got 2 days until Wallace comes home so I should see what else I would like to do with my time. I also have my 10 year blog anniversary coming up. Maybe I can find the energy to reclaim my space while juggling chronic illness, single patenting, and my little YouTube channel. That’s a tall order but it would be lovely to create a new community around my blog like I had in the early years. Let me know if you’re out there!

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in disability, family, food, health, LGBTQ, Linked Up, Parenting, pictures, Single Mother by Choice - SMC, Sleep and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Alone Time

  1. Lindsay says:

    I’m still here reading. Not blogging or using social media much (I occasionally post on my IG story) but we’re doing well! Evelyn and I live in Florida now; Bri and I got married. Glad to hear you’re getting some alone time to take care of yourself!

  2. mikuwren says:

    This post filled my heart with joy! I was so happy to read you spend some time in your pjs, resting. You deserve it! I remember my first time away from Zylan, I sat in bed and had a hot cup of tea. It’s the little things. First time shopping without either child, i skipped down the road and talked to strangers lol.

    So so happy for you. Thanks mum! x

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