Dear Grandpa,

I miss you tremendously. I can’t fathom a world that doesn’t include you and it hurts to know you aren’t in it anymore. To know I won’t get one of your hugs, with a kiss on my cheek, ever again breaks my heart open. I miss your voice already.

I have so many good memories of us together when I was a kid, but I wish I had more adult ones. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch better, write and call more, and make it for all the family events. I haven’t had the best examples for making family a priority, but I’ve always loved you.

I’ve taken for granted your, and Grandma’s, constant presence in my life. Every phone call or card were par for the course and now there won’t be anymore. So thank you for loving me in all the ways you knew how. I think being that constant presence was one of them.

I will make sure Wallace knows you were a decent man, a loving person, and that you always got down on the floor to play with every grand kid and great grand kid. We will keep you alive by telling your stories and loving each other.

I remember sitting on your knee while you jostled me up and down, singing a little tune. I remember the smell of your pipe tobacco and the place they lived in your shirt pocket when I was little. I remember when you went to Kroger and asked for help so you could find gluten free flour to make gravy for Thanksgiving that I could eat, too. I remember how easily you smiled and laughed and loved.

Thank you for these hands with their flat nails and sturdy fingers. Thank you for the determination to always put one foot in front of the other. Thank you for the eyebrows that have been trying to grow together since back when tweezers were just for splinters and stingers. Thank you for paying the long distance bill every time Grandma called me in Chicago (and every time since then while I stubbornly hold onto my old number). Thank you for these ears that I only just realized I got from you.

Love, Jennifer

Grandpa and me at a family wedding.

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
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