I need to reclaim this space, so a recap is always good!

Wednesday: preschool visit and paperwork, drop direct deposit at Payroll, find out from HR that I’m supposed to work the next day at 8am, impromptu lunch at a health food store, kid falls asleep in the car, check of 2nd TB test (still asleep), get home and start prepping for work (still asleep), dinner, shower, and a late bedtime since that two hour nap happened.

Thursday: kid was awake when I left, Gramma mostly asleep on the couch, show up at new job saying I’m the new hire, hectic and overly personal introductions, some checklists of things to cover, too many hours staring at white writing on a blue screen for the Civil Rights training, inside all day and stayed longer than supposed to, stop at Dollar Tree and TJMaxx on my way home in search of work clothes since kid is with Gramma and isn’t back yet, get text he wants his Momma and rush home forgetting one of the bags of things, late dinner, walk to connect with kid, bedtime and prepping for the next day.

Friday: kid was asleep when I left ans I only sorta tried to wake him, Gramma never replied to my texts asking how the day was, more working through new hire checklists and getting to know each other, efficient at finding my way to and from bathroom alone, found out I’m not in payroll system and was supposed to have a badge, went for a walk for part of my lunch break because I can’t stand being stuck inside for 8 hours, learned way around the charting program and entered in a stack of pink cards for the last 4 hours of my day, called TJMaxx after work and stopped by to get bag, home to kid and I didn’t have to cook dinner.


I started writing this almost two weeks ago and every day has been non stop. As it stands now, I have had ten days of work and Wallace starts preschool on Monday. I have all the paperwork in for DHS to help with three days this month and four day weeks through September, but no word if it will go through, no word on what the cost will be out of pocket if it doesn’t, and two weeks until my first full paycheck.

I am down to about a migraine a week but am out of the new brand of CBD oil that was helping a ton so I’m in pain and worn out. We have had two birthday parties, some babysitting, and a Day Out With Thomas.

Work needs it’s own post and so does Thomas, preschool, and CBD oil. I just don’t have the time or energy. I need to delete Instagram from my phone again, as I lose myself in it instead of being productive. I haven’t been able to read much lately and am learning to be hyper productive even if I’m hurting. Our road trip needs a post too, well, mostly me over analyzing it…

That’s all I got for now as Wallace has finally fallen asleep after a wild bedtime that included hitting me and then crying when I caught hold of his arm. Time to prep some cucmber salad and clothing labels.

Posted in AIP, background, body talk, Parenting, pictures, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 7 Comments

Day 1

I just started my first ever office job. Today was an unorganized and yet friendly cluster F starting with having found out yesterday at about noon that I was cleared to start working and was expected at 8am. So yeh.

Wallace spent the day with Gramma and did great, but we both missed each other. My coworkers are funny and overall so far nice, though there was talk about my sexuality and my leg hair. I have known a couple of them for four years, though we weren’t friends, so it was fine and just part of getting to know each other. Though I clearly need to up my attire because there was a comment on how I give off gay vibes, in so many words.

I don’t particularly care as long as I am comfortable, I need some clothes for the job anyway, and it’s likely that no matter what I wear I will still look, act, and be really damn gay. Anyway, I stopped for another piece of vegan gf chocolate cake on the way home from work and then went to TJMaxx to try to find some shirts to add to my nearly nonexistent business (very) casual wardrobe. I would have rushed immediately home to hug my baby and eat dinner but they weren’t back from their adventures yet.

I am hoping I can adjust to office life smoothly. I have never had a desk, computer, or phone before. I need advice, please! I am putting together a small bag to keep in a drawer with chapstick, medicine, toothbrush, nail file, emergency snack, and anything else I can come up with. I bought a picture frame and put one of wallace in it, and sticky notes and pens. What else is essential for a work desk? How do I make my gay business casual wardrobe work? How do I make my desk/chair comfortable when I can’t reach the floor and the keyboard at the same time?

Posted in background, LGBTQ, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 12 Comments

Outdoor Challenge: July 15-21

Saturday, July 15

Wallace wanted to go swimming and forecast was promising. We headed out to the pool after lunch and after I did some Amazon work. Two of our neighbors were heading over too, so Wallace was very excited. Otherwise, the pool was empty for half the time we were there. It was weird for a Saturday afternoon. Rob worked with Wallace on getting his face in the water, which Wallace calls diving. I swam a little and got in the water with Wallace too. He’s pretty independent in the pool with his puddle jumper thing on. After her sunbathed and warmed up, we did some floaty free pool time on the steps with me hovering nearby. I would like him to be conscious of the difference in what he needs to do with and without the puddle jumper on. I’d like to work with him on learning to float on his back and hanging on to the side while kicking his feet. He also had some time playing in the sandbox on the balcony and we sat together out there to eat a bowl of fresh local strawberries.

Sunday, July 16

It was overcast and breezy so we didn’t make plans to get outside this morning. Wallace played a bit in the backyard where I babysat, but nothing big. We really need to get out for bike rides and roller skate practice.

I got side tracked by our trip and stopped keeping track of this. Oops!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

MicroBlog Monday: Sore

Yesterday, I managed a little yoga and core exercises while my mom had Wallace for the morning. I am so not consistent with this stuff even though I really wish I were. I miss Bikram yoga so much (love the yoga, not the man), and I miss bike commuting and walking everywhere.

In the afternoon, we went over for my third time babysitting for a fellow SMC who we met at a library event and then saw me on SitterCity. She has a son a few days older than Wallace and twins who are 19 months. The twins are teething and hitting a growth spurt (thanks to trace minerals!) and the normally happy go lucky little dude just wanted to fuss and be held. So, I got my Catbird Baby Pikkolo carrier from the car and swung him up on my back. For at least an hour. While wrangling three other kids… so yeh.

It hurts my abs to laugh and my traps are so sore I ended up with a migraine by this afternoon. It was so worth it though because it worked and it reset him to mostly happy. Gotta get this body stronger and healthier and little walks around the apartment complex aren’t going to cut it.

Posted in babywearing, background, Microblog Monday, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 3 Comments

Real World

I got the job. I will be a breastfeeding peer counselor with WIC/the health department. I think that makes me a government employee. I just had my first ever work physical, drug test, and TB test (gotta go back for a second test, no idea why). I of course passed my background check. And my paperwork says I’m “highly qualified.”

I’m in the process of signing Wallace up for preschool and fretting over which program, how food will be handled, how much school will change him (the good and bad), and how to cover days he won’t have school but I will have work. I’m worrying about what to wear, what to pack for food, and how I will get along with coworkers and bosses. I’m on the verge of entering the real world as a single parent working outside of the house without my kid.

I’m hoping whichever program I decide on will be good for Wallace. I’m hoping this job will get me to financial stability (working on some Dave Ramsey in preparation now) and towards my goal of being an IBCLC. I’m contemplating the eventuality of finishing up the classes and courses needed to take the IBLCE and the possibility of no longer living with my mom. I’m planning out RV projects and playing with the idea of being able to travel and do in person and video lactation consults.

I am fumbling in the dark with this entire process. It was county HR that called me with the interview, but I interviewed with the HD and WIC bosses. I was offered the job by the HR person, but filled out my background check with a different one. I was told the TB test would be next, but the physical hadn’t been mentioned until after more paperwork was ready, which I hadn’t been told of the first time I was at the county building. I supposedly can start August 10th, but I haven’t heard anything from the actual people who will be doing the schedule. I kept forgetting to ask what the dress code is so I asked someone I’m connected to online who had this job before. I need checklist and calendar to get through this! (I may be a little type A…)

I keep wanting to blog and update, but this is all I can manage for now. Just utilizing my space for record keeping and word vomit.

Posted in breastfeeding, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC | 8 Comments

Outdoor Challenge: July 8-14

Staturday, July 8

It was a short notice babysitting day, so instead of a big adventure, we played in their backyard. Wallace mostly climbed up the slide and played catch with me. Being able to catch a ball in his hands is a new development! He said that the lady at the church nursery taught him.

Sunday, July 9

A long-time online mom friend and I live about and hour and a half apart and had never met. I had suggested a park that has a wooden train to play on and a real (mini) train to ride on that’s not far from halfway. She had said they have a lot of weekends open and I spur of the moment messaged her today to see if they’d want to meet at the park. It worked out very well! We all got ourselves and the kids ready, brought food, and made it there within 10 minutes of each other. The two 4 year olds took a bit to warm up to each other but by the end they were speaking rhyming jibberish and cracking each other up. Our friends went on the train once and we went on it three times. They both climbed up and slid down the very tall old school slide, which was very nerve racking for us moms on the ground. After they left to get the little one to nap, Wallace and I had our third train ride, ate some more, and then headed to a dock on a little pond to see what we could see. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the wasps until right before they stung my poor baby on the face! After crying, hugs, and ice, we warned some people about them and headed home. Wallace fell asleep within minutes in the car.

Monday, July 10

We went to the farmer’s market for produce and chicken. Wallace played at the children’s museum’s play area. When we were done shopping and playing, we got a fresh juice and sat outside on a bench with it. The car needs the AC fixed, so by the time we got home we were too hot and needed to rest in the AC. I think we did manage a walk to the mailbox at bedtime.

Tuesday, July 11

We went to the pool and Wallace got some good swimming in. It was not too hot out and their were lots of kids in the pool so I didn’t go in. My sunburn is at the peeling stage and doesn’t hurt. I slathered us up with coconut oil before we went out. He also got a little running around outside the library with friends. These’s no shade, but they like running in the grass and around on the sidewalk.
Wednesday, July 12

We managed no outside time, oops. Just to and from car and stores. We had errands to run and a late bedtime putting his new bed together.

Thursday, July 13

It was overcast, humid, and hot. We played outside at babysitting and chatted with neighbors outside twice. One family got a dog last summer and Wallace and Hudson have been strongly attracted to each other since they first met. Now that Hudson is twice Wallace’s weight and a year old, he has calmed down a little and at least doesn’t bowl him over in excitement. He still gets very happy to see Wallace and comes running full force, but he also was amazingly gentle with Wallace when they played tug one day a couple weeks ago. Wallace adores Hudson and is getting more comfortable petting and playing with him instead of just squealing with joy and then balking.

Friday, July 14

There was no official outdoor activity today, but I had a trial day with a new family and Wallace got some outside play time with her 4 year old. (Aside: she’s a fellow SMC, my first purely in person meeting! She’s also got a lot of similar beliefs and practices so we definitely jive.) We are both exhausted from the whirlwind of this week and I’m hoping for a bike ride and some pool time soon.

Posted in background, Parenting, pictures | 2 Comments


When we moved back to my dad’s, a little over two years ago, I got a new crib mattress for Wallace and put it in his awesome crib with the front off and a bed rail. I worked to transition him to sleeping in his own bed in his own room since we had that luxury. It wasn’t until a couple months on trace minerals that he started sleeping most of his night in his room before waking and me bringing him to my bed. But, when we were in the process of downsizing and moving a year ago, I sold the bed and mattress.

When we moved in with my mom, we started sharing a room again and I figured he’d just end up in my bed all night again. Instead, he chose to sleep in a pack n play in the room with me. I padded it with extra blankets and got him a new pillow similar to mine. He is now four and growing like a weed so when I saw a couple toddler beds with mattresses at the thrift store, I decided to go for it. There was a Cars one and a Disney princess one. They are not a style I pictured ever buying but they are sturdy enough. I thought he’d like the Cars one as he’s a fan despite not having seen the movie but he chose Princesses.

Testing out mattresses and choosing a bed.

I managed to disassemble it and fit it in the Grand Am. After a stop at the grocery store, we got it home, up to the third floor, wiped down, and put together. He was so excited about it and relatively helpful. He peeled the stickers off, helped me carry pieces, and even held a side steady while I got the bolts in. Due to all of this, we had a a late bedtime and he tossed around a bit, too excited to sleep. As we got ready for bed, he told me exactly how he’s going to tell Gramma about his new bed when she gets home from her vacation in a few days.

My super helpful, always expressive, turns pink at the slightest increase in temperature four year old.

Practicing co sleeping with three baby dolls.


Posted in background, pictures, Sleep | 2 Comments