I used to believe in something bigger than myself, something somewhat magical. I don’t know when I lost it. Was it after too many heartaches? Was it after too many injuries and illnesses? Is it because I’m jaded about the inate good in people and our culture? Either way, I feel the loss of it and believe that finding it again could be a missing piece to my healing journey.
I used to feel wonder at the natural world and hold past and future lives as Truth. I used to look at people and see their spark or soul or their passion for life. When I was pregnant, I had one very vivid dream of my future child wherein he confirmed has name and his soul glowed. I woke up sobbing because when the dream ended he was no longer in my arms.
I need to find this again. I need to reconnect with Spirit and trust in the Universe. Problem is, I don’t know how. I would love any suggestions or anecdotes that will help me (maybe I became too literal and problem solving oriented?).
(I was raised Lutheran but started studying Buddhism in high school. I have read many books that have inspired me and helped to shape my beliefs over the years. I no longer feel connected to the creative force that I once felt while writing, performing, and hearing poetry.)