Mother’s Day

This day makes me think of all the women who have died in childbirth, or shortly after. Those who chose not to become mothers and those who tried a million times a million ways and couldn’t. I think of the children who lost mothers and of those mothers who lost children. I remember the women before me who have mothered and nurtured, but weren’t my mother. I want to acknowledge all the mothers who navigate life invisible due to gender, loss, circumstances, choice, or some other scenario I haven’t envisioned. Mothers who try, mothers who need more support, mothers who feel stuck or alone. I want to celebrate, mourn, reflect, remember, and thank.

I have a complicated relationship with the day, and being queer and a single mom by choice adds an interesting twist. I am often invisible due to perception (just the other day I was mistaken for a teenager). I live with my mom, but she’s abandoned me many ways many times. I have a tattoo for a woman who was a mother for me and a belly button made by my god mother. Being a mom has been my biggest dream and it is my daily challenge.

I woke up this morning on mom duty. I am always on mom duty. I was brought a plant and metal ladybug in bed. I was snuggled, as is usual, and immediately began making breakfast and getting ready. I worked and saw a friend, got an ice pack for a pinched finger. I came home and prepared for guests I hadn’t much notice for. The toilet didn’t get cleaned and the reading lesson didn’t get done. My plans for the day constantly morphing. I got work done on books, talked, a small walk, made a salad I didn’t know I was in charge of. Bedtime routine with an overtired kid, then more work, tea, and a little yoga. I will still be a mother when I wake up tomorrow. One of the first words I will hear will be “Momma.” But it could also be “I need.” Because mothers fill needs.

About JennP

Single mom by choice, lesbian, natural living, parenting, car free, Chicago.Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!
This entry was posted in background, family, LGBTQ, Parenting, Single Mother by Choice - SMC. Bookmark the permalink.

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