I’ve always been pretty good at a bedtime routine for Wallace. And pre kid, which was pretty much pre internet in my pocket, I was good at my own bedtime routine. I loved snuggling up with my cat and reading a book, sometimes watching a show or having a treat first. But now, between single parenting, winter, pandemic, and all my medical stuff… I seriously suck at going to bed.
For a bit there after surgery, I was on a roll! But I was also recovering from brain surgery and on lots of medications. I’ve tried a number of times and ways to get my bedtime on track, including alarms and dimmed screens and lights and sleepy tea, but nothing has helped. Instead my bedtime sits solidly after midnight and my wake up time was creeping past 9am.
Wallace likes his little bit of time to himself in the morning, so it hasn’t been a problem for me to sleep in, but with the chronic fatigue it’s really hard to get up and get moving in the morning even on good days. And it’s not like I’m doing anything important at night after he’s in bed, like back when I’ve had online college courses. I just have to buckle down and make myself go to bed.
Sometimes I just feel too tired to get up out of my comfy recliner and get ready for bed. (And nope, I can’t sleep in my recliner, tried it.) I’m on night three of getting as ready for bed as I can right when I get Wallace to bed, before settling in myself. With a book and limited screen time, snack if I need, but mostly just tea, and my electric blanket and kitty. At 10pm, my phone goes dark as a reminder to turn off screens and feed Alice. Then at 10:30 a bedtime alarm goes off. But that rarely makes me actually go to bed, ha.
Besides feeling like I have no quiet time during the day, I also feel quite isolated, especially now. Most days I just have my kid for conversation and a person can only take so much potty talk and Ninjago adventures before losing it! So if I felt like I didn’t get to connect with any friends or peers during the day, I tend to frantically try to do it during my quiet evening. Then I just want to stay up texting, which leads to googling tangents, or, if after midnight, some pretty deep topics.
But I’ve just now tucked Wallace in bed and am getting myself set with my tea and melatonin and some not too stimulating entertainment. Alice is already snuggled in the recliner waiting for me. So, here goes night three!