*This was meant to post last night, but Wallace woke up right as I was grabbing links for it.*
As of last night, I’m single again. I couldn’t put enough of my energy and time into each thing in my life (Wallace, housework/life basics, work, school, L, me) and have any leftover for the next day. I have had no time or patience and at the end of the day, I just want to sleep. It wasn’t fair of me to continue trying to keep a relationship going and the distance didn’t help.
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I realized I needed to tell DHS that I started school. I remembered being asked about it during the intake interview and finally remembered to call on Thursday. I was told that because I am in school (part time, online, all financial aid), I will no longer qualify for food stamps. He told me that a few years ago, a bunch of college students were caught selling their food stamp cards so they made new rules. I was distraught to the point of crying on the floor with my sweet son saying “No more cry, Momma. I wipe your tears.”
That just didn’t seem right or make sense. I have a kid and am trying to get an education so we won’t always be on assistance! I wanted to see if I could find a news story about the college students. I found this one from 2011 about the politics of it and the different governors involved. Nothing in there about college kids selling their cards. I also found this page. The first link under who is eligable is a pdf. It gives details on who can receive food assistance while attending college. According to that, I would qualify because I am a parent of a child under 6 and I provide at least half of his support and care. I also have a 20 hour a week job, though I quoted under minimum wage since I bring Wallace with me and it isn’t reported income. My friend has agreed to write a letter of employment if we need it.
I called on Friday and left a message explaining what I had found. I feel like he got me upset and scared when I should still be eligobale for food assistance. Mind you, I would love to not need it, have reported income, and not live with my dad anymore. But I can dream.
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Wallace is in a phase of not eating much and combined with his behavior it is driving me crazy. For dinner tonight he had three bites of stir fry (only the rice and chicken though) and a handful of rice chex. He is refusing to eat any vegetables and most meals I prepare. He wants the same things all the time and is refusing to try new things. He either wants noodles and sauce or quesadillas for lunch and dinner.
Meanwhile, I have cut dairy, soy, corn, pork, and beef from my diet (and of course no gluten). I am trying to expand my repotoire of foods and find some new dishes to cook. Tonight I made Brussels sprout fried rice and also a batch of cauliflower tortillas to have with eggs and salsa.
I’ve gotta get this kid back to eating some vegetables again! Any and all suggestions welcome. Muffins with shredded carrot or zucchini are about it for him the last couple weeks.
Good Families Do... 
Does the college have a food bank? When Daniela was in college we qualified to use the food bank they offered and it was a huge help. Not as convenient as stamps but it was something and then we could redirect money towards produce we needed rather than the staples.
Carter goes through weird food phases. Mostly he want cereal at every meal which just isn’t an option. After a week of not eating I would happily let him have cereal I guess but for the most part I tell him he either eats what is offered or he must not be hungry. He will often not eat his dinner but then right before bed will reconsider.
I should say that I make all his meals with his tastes in mind. I know he really hates peppers and tomatoes so I don’t include them or I remove them from his portion.
Just a thought. Have you tried making a puree of fruit and vegetable juice?
Your worker is wrong. You still qualify for food stamps. Call a supervisor if you need to.
I keep his tastes in mind too. He is now spurning foods he usually eats.
I haven’t heard of them having a food bank before. I am going to hide the cereal and not buy more. If it isn’t there, he will choose other foods. When I have re offered his dinner, he has had a total meltdown with crying, screaming, and foot stomping. He will run away from me and be upset for a very long time. Ugh.
I sure as hell hope he is wrong. I don’t yet have the results of him entering that change. He did ask a supervisor about if my being online made any difference and they said no.
Oh, and then he tried to convince me to apply for a clerical position with the city. He insisted I would be able to work full time, go to school part time, and raise my child. I barely contained my scoff. I looked up the position today in my weekly search for the WIC posting and I am not even qualified for it.
I need to get out my juicer and try it with him. Problem is if he sees me put vegetables in it, he will say “I don’t like carrots/salad/etc.” I used to put spinach in his smoothie.
yes, yes. Carter will tell me he wants something. I’ll make it. He’ll then say “no, i want cereal”
Yeah but here the rule is the same as you found- with a minor you keep your food stamps. I can’t imagine that not being true there.
I’m so glad he knows what will work for your life. How helpful!
More just now he won’t eat anything than changes his mind after deciding.
Its a federal guideline from what I could tell. Granholm was just interoretting it broadly.
Hahahaha!
It looks like there are many problems with MI food stamps. So much so this website has been set up: http://www.foodstamphelp.org/ Call them? I would think that food stamps have to follow federal guidelines as you can use your food stamps from one state in a different state.
If I get told I get cut, then I will call! When I was in IL, at first my income made it so we didn’t qualify. Then my friend cut my hours. I went in immediately, filled out th paperwork, showed a real live person my schedule, and she assured me a car would be on its way. It got there much quicker than I had expected.
http://www.foodstamphelp.org/FAP-College%20Students
Also, super bummer about L. I get it but still a bummer. 😦
Thanks. It nearly ended a couple weeks ago but I tried again. Still isn’t going to work.
I had to do the same for the same reasons with my last relationship. With toddlerhood, you sometimes just have nothing to give. Oh, and just keep offering a bit of the veggies with his meals or mix them into things he likes… He’ll probably change again soon cause they always do. I read that saying no is just a normal healthy part of being two, so that’s what he’s going to do!
I remembered you writing about that. There are other factors of course, but I don’t want to go into them on a public place. I’m never one for airing my dirty laundry. Wallace’s increasingly challenging behavior hasn’t helped.
Ive been continuing to offer vegetables and he either picks them out puts them off of his plate. He is definitely in the realm of normal but it is wearing me out. He is starting to enjoy kicking and hitting me and knowing he is pushing my buttons. I just can’t keep my calm long enough to dissipate his instistance to do things he shouldn’t or can’t.
Haha, my niece is the same way. Picky eater. Loves to eat meat: hot dogs and spam mostly or marinated meat. But plain meat? Nope! Won’t eat it. She likes broccoli and cauliflower but doesn’t like anything else. Odd, is about all I can say.
My son likes flavor and spice and can polish off a medium spiced curry with me. Lots of kids are picky eaters but I’m trying to not encourage and enable it. I try to stick with whole foods and low on processed stuff.